I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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