We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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