recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
