You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
