She is in my trunk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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