I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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