Cold hands, warm shart.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
