All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
