remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
that is very illegal...i love you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
