the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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