If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
sex in a hospital.. check
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
