So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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