We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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