i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Four minutes until I can fart!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
