oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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