garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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