ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
