Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
