we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
