So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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