So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
