youre lurking in front of me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
