"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
