Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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