OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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