she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's like heaven, but drunker
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
