"it" just moved
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
