I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
