is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
