Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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