Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
