well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
where am i from again
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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