i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
