i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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