he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You made out with two different species that night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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