she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
