And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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