it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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