Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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