My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
