i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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