so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
