Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
