My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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