Your mouth is God's brothel.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
