how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
