Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
