This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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