smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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