i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize